I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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