You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
