I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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