Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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