She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
