I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i think my cat just said my name.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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