what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
