Can i not drive my cunt home
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
