Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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