I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
