dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my poor anus
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
