Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
