I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
