Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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