Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
