Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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