where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Houston, we have a squirter
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
