am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
