His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
