I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
