She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I checked into jail on foursquare
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
