I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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