i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
