This is not my ceiling
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My pussy is not your playground.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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