i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
