There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
