Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
