the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
