i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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