you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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