Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
