i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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