yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
