Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
