how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
