i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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