chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
