Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
