i think my tv is drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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