That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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