I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
