You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
