he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
