it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
