I want to make a zoo with you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
