Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
