I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
