I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
