Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
