its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
