Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
