Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
