I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
